“May your life unfold smoothly with ease.”
–Buddhist Prayer

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Perspective Check



Sometimes, the hardest part of an experience is coming home.  There are, of course, the readjustment issues and the missing of places and people, but what I am really talking about it learning how to carry through and use what has been learned abroad once you are no longer immersed in the place and topic.  Sometimes it takes a harsh reminder to regain perspective, to be reminded what is important, and to not take our privilege for granted.
            I am back on a campus for the month of January for “J-term”, where I have one class that meets every day for three hours.  The topic of my course is “Reacting to the Past”.  It’s a bit complicated to describe, but essentially, we as a class are playing a “game” of sorts where we all take on the roles of different characters in Greenwich Village in 1913.  As our characters, we are debating between The Labor Movement and The Suffrage Movement, engaging in dialogue and reading and discussing pieces from the era.  Today, we voted on which faction would win—would we hold the Labor Party’s Pageant or attend the Suffragists’ parade?  We had some very strong personalities, and the debates were heated.  For me, as someone who abhors arguing, and usually has mild panic attacks in conjunction with public speaking, coming to class was something that caused a great deal of anxiety.  I was so wrapped up in making sure I could stand my own ground and not humiliate myself that I completely overlooked an extremely important character in the game.  This character may have been the most important one of all.
One student played the role of a 14-year-old Italian Immigrant.  As the setting for our simulation was a restaurant, her character worked as a waitress.  She shuffled about, replenishing snacks and cleaning up messes.  In the midst of our “great debates”, we inexcusably let her fall through the cracks.  It was revealed on the day of voting that her character had the power to award points (in the game, we are awarded points in conjunction with our activities, and they later influence our voting power) to other characters and factions based on how they interacted with and treated her.  Few points were distributed.  With just a few small exceptions, the rest of us all but ignored her.  We failed to acknowledge her presence- even though it was her identity, as a working female immigrant, that was discussed constantly in our debates.  My character in particular, was described as being strongly invested in fighting for the rights and empowerment of women immigrant workers.  But I never stepped forward.  We tossed about the words “immigrants”, and “workers”, and “women” incessantly.  We provided voices and opinions for these people we claimed to champion.  We assumed we knew best, but never did we ask what they wanted.  In the midst of the fight, we were blinded by our privilege.  This realization brought rushing back a semester of discussions, and field visits, and feelings.  I couldn’t believe I ignored this character.  I felt as if I had failed, not just the game, but the principles that I have claimed to stand for.
            I realize that this was a simulation, a game, and not real life.  But, it is a harsh reminder of what so many of us do everyday.  This could just as easily have happened today.  Whether we’re discussing the rights of immigrants in 2013, or advocating welfare laws, or even simply volunteering at a soup kitchen.  We make the same assumptions, all the time.  I think back to August, as I attended orientation before departing for India.  Our group spoke with a remarkable woman, Julia, who happened to have lived most of her life homeless.  She reiterated over and over again the importance of not talking for others.  She spoke of community organizations wanting to give out turkeys to the homeless for Thanksgiving, and how utterly ridiculous this was.  They didn’t turkeys— they wanted homes!  Did they ever even ask the people they were “helping” what they needed?  Never.  Just as it has happened time and time again, we constantly assume that we know what people need.  “We’re educated.  We’ve learned about the oppressed, we’ve volunteered, we’ve read about the inequalities in the world.  So obviously, as privileged members of white middleclass society, we know what’s best.  We’re here to help!”  We continue to speak for the oppressed, without ever taking time to listen to them.  We reduce people to labels and identities, and forget to interact with them as humans.  We provide voices for people who are capable of speaking for themselves. 
            One of the strongest concepts I took away from my time in India was that we do not need to raise people up, but that we need to stand in solidarity with and support others as they work to empower themselves.  We do not know what other people need.  We can only reach out, listen, and work to support each other as humans.  Today’s experience in class was a reminder of that.  It’s far too easy to be caught up in the rush of everyday life.  To become so centered on our own success, that we tune out others.  The most important thing we can do to improve the world is to listen.  If we’re not willing to reach out beyond what’s comfortable and admit that we are wrong, we will never move forward. 
These reminders may sting, but they are increasingly important.  The semester I spent abroad may be behind me, but I must continue to carry forward its ideals and perspectives into my life at home. There is still so much to learn.
Peace,
            Zoë

You should also read one of the poems Julia, the wonderful woman I mentioned above, wrote.  It really hits home on how we lump people together, reduce them to labels, and fail to ask them what they want.

My Name is Not “Those People”
By Julia Dinsmore
My name is not "Those People".
I am a loving woman, a mother in pain,
Giving birth to the future, where my babies
Have the same chance to thrive as anyone. 

My name is not "Inadequate".
I did not make my husband leave us –
He chose to, and chooses not to pay child support.
Truth is though; there isn’t a job base
For all fathers to support their families.
While society turns its head, my children pay the price.

 My name is not "Problem and Case to Be Managed".
I am a capable human being and citizen, not just a client.
The social service system can never replace       
            the compassion and concern of loving grandparents, aunts,      
             uncles, fathers, cousins, community -       
            all the bonded people who need to be
But are not present to bring children forward to their potential. 

My name is not "Lazy, Dependent Welfare Mother".
If the unwaged work of parenting,          
            homemaking and community building was factored         
            into the gross domestic product,
My work would have untold value. And why is it that mothers whose
Husbands support them to stay home and raise children
Are glorified? And why they don’t get called lazy or dependent? 

My name is not "Ignorant, Dumb or Uneducated".
I got my PhD from the university of life, school of hard everything,
I live with an income of $621 with $169 in food stamps for three kids.
Rent is $585...That leaves $36 a month to live on.        
            I am such a genius at surviving,        
            I could balance the state budget in an hour.
Never mind that there's a lack of living-wage jobs.
Never mind that it's impossible to be the sole emotional, social,       
            Spiritual, and economic support to a family.
Never mind that parents are losing their children       
            to gangs, drugs, stealing, prostitution, the poverty industry,       
            social workers, kidnapping, the streets, the predator.
Forget about putting money into schools...       
            just build more prisons! 

My name is not "Lay Down and Die Quietly".
My love is powerful, and the urge to keep my children alive will never stop.
All children need homes and people who love them.
All children need safety
And the chance to be the people they were born to be.
The wind will stop before I allow my sons to become a statistic.
Before you give in to the urge to blame me,        
            the blames that lets us go blind and unknowing        
            into the isolation that disconnects         
            your humanity from mine,
 Take another look. Don't go away.
 For I am not the problem, but the solution.
And...my name is not "Those People".


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